And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
