i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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