So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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