hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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