Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
