I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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