We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
