so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize