it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
