GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
