I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
