oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize