i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
