Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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