I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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