so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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