Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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