I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
