I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
