i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
