i permit you to call me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
