...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
