i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
