My nipple is on Facebook.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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