Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
