she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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