Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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