after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
