I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
