Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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