Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize