I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
