I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
