is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
