You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I will be naked everywhere
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize