OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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