i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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