I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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