it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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