Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
