Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.

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(925): View more from California

when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.

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(713): View more from Texas

We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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(253): View more from Washington

He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...

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