Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
