just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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