Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
did i just pee glitter
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize