I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
