I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize