i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize