i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
