Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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