I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
