he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize