Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
