Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
