Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
