Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
