From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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