we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize