Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
