in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I need moral support for this bender
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
