You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
