Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
