Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
