have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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