My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
